Shoot-Me Showdown: Post Office vs. DMV

Two places you never, ever wanna find yourself.  I KNOW.  But when it comes down to it, which is actually worse?  Let’s discuss, shall we?

Factor 1: Length of Stay.  Unfortunately I can find no data on this, but my gut tells me that the average DMV visit is probably longer than the average post office visit.  Who’s worse? DMV.

Factor 2: Frequency of Visits.  I think the post office has to win this one hands down.  Fortunately for most people, DMV visits are only required once in a relative blue moon – every few years your license expires, you get married and need to change your name, or you buy a car and have to file some crap paperwork that by any practical standard should be able to be filed online but no, it’s the DMV, so you must file in person.  The post office on the other hand…well, I don’t know how often most people visit but I find myself there at least a few times a year.  Who’s worse? POST OFFICE.

Factor 3: Complexity of Duties.  So, take the DMV.  It’s a horrid experience, but I guess on some very, very distant level I can understand why *some* of their activities might take a little while to execute.  I mean, they’re in charge of issuing the primary form of identification that most of us use for everything short of international travel.  I guess that’s pretty important.  But the post office?  Putting stamps on packages and retrieving things from PO boxes?  I’m pretty sure that college mailrooms accomplish these same tasks in a fraction of the time.  And they are largely staffed by hung-over 19-year-olds.  Who’s worse? POST OFFICE.

Factor 4: Comfort.  When was the last time you saw chairs in a post office?  They may be flimsy and covered in whatever filth the last patron left behind, but at least the DMV has a place to sit while you silently seethe and curse the inefficiency of local government.  Who’s worse? POST OFFICE.

Factor 5: Convenience.  Is it just me or are DMVs located exclusively in random, barely-marked storefronts in obscure stripmalls in suburbs you’ve never heard of or, at least, would never otherwise go to?  Who picks the location of these things?  At least post offices are usually downtown and/or in other central locations.  Who’s worse?  DMV.

Factor 6: Cost.  I guess there’s one thing you can say about the good ol’ USPS – you pay for what you get.  It’s still cheaper to mail a package through the post office than it is to deal with UPS, FedEx or DHL.  The DMV on the other hand?  WILL find ten ways to charge, surcharge and tax your replacement drivers licence or plate renewal.  And they’ll demand cash or a check (like ANYONE carries checks around anymore!)  Who’s worse?  DMV.

Factor 7: Entertainment Value.  The DMV wins here hands-down.  Seriously, go to the DMV on a Tuesday afternoon at 2 PM if you want to see a real cross-section of society.  The last time I was there, I saw a guy with an iron lung – I’m not kidding.  The post office?  Is full of people just like you and me who are just as annoyed.  Yawn.  That’s just not as interesting.  Who’s worse? POST OFFICE.

There you have it.  In a narrow 4-3 victory, the post office is officially worse than the DMV.  Disagree?  Arguments to the contrary are welcome!

Today’s EAT:  Made some yummy Baked Chicken Nuggets with Honey Mustard Sauce for dinner.  Yay finger food!

Today’s DRINK:  We are runnin’ dry around these parts.  I had a bit of wine left over from last night, but I think I’ll be making a stop at Trader Joe’s tomorrow!

Today’s RUN: Had a nice, mellow run around Hudson River Park.  Didn’t take my watch or follow a route, and really enjoyed meandering around the random little piers that I never let myself explore.  I think I was gone for about 35 minutes, so let’s call it 4 miles and change.


One response to “Shoot-Me Showdown: Post Office vs. DMV

  1. And the government wants to run our healthcare..ha! 😉

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