“Hey, can I borrow your iPod?”
It’s a question that has the power to ignite fear in the bravest of hearts.
Why? Because of course there is crap on your iPod. Crap that would mortify you if the borrowing party stumbled upon it.
So perhaps you respond: “Sure, of course. Hey, let me just show you which playlists are – ”
“Nah, it’s cool, I can just put it on shuffle.”
Shuffle. Dear God.
You’d better be prepared to explain what Justin Bieber is doing in there, along with Britney-circa-1999, and a few choice selections from Taylor Swift’s Christmas album. Because the iPod Anxiety Effect is no joke, y’all.
But I can own up to the crap on my iPod. At least, some of it – the portion that I use for running, anyway. So here is my Guilty Pleasures Running Playlist:
May I (attempt to) explain?
1. Girlfriend (Featuring Lil’ Mama) – Avril Lavigne: I think Avril Lavigne is a pretentious twat, for the most part. But this remix has an awesome beat for running. [Listen]
2. Rehab (remix) feat. Jay-Z – Amy Winehouse: Amy Winehouse is a nutcase for sure, but this mix with Jay-Z is high-energy and fun. [Listen]
3. Fighter – Christina Aguilera: All anger. Great for kicking ass on a run. [Listen]
4. Love in this Club (feat. Young Jeezy) – Usher: I really…I don’t know, it reminds me of an old Bone Thugs track or something? The lyrics are about as stupid as you can get, but for some reason I love this song. [Listen]
5. I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho) – Pitbull: Okay, I’ll be honest. I love Pitbull. At the wedding I went to in South America earlier this month, I (apparently) repeatedly pleaded with the DJ to play “more Pitbull.” [Listen]
6. These Boots are Made for Walkin’ – Jessica Simpson: I know. JESSICA. SIMPSON. It’s shameful. I really have no reasonable explanation for this one. [Listen]
7. Low (feat. T-Pain) – Flo Rida: Who didn’t have the boots with the furrrrrr a couple of years ago? I’ve since ditched the boots but I still love the song. [Listen]
8. Take it Off – Ke$ha: I totally think less of myself for liking this song. It’s about glitter on the floor of a shady strip/sex club…right? Gross. And yet somehow….YES. [Listen]
9. Crank That (Soulja Boy) (Travis Barker Remix) – Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em: I know what you are thinking. Soulja Boy and Travis Barker in the same song? A double dose of douche? But this remix is freaking AWESOME and has carried me through many hard workouts. [Listen]
10. Bossy (feat. Too Short) – Kelis: This song is so much better than that stupid Milkshake song. Favorite line: “I’m the bitch y’all love to hate.” Yeahhhh, haters. [Listen]
11. See You Again (Rock Mafia Remix) – Miley Cyrus: Oh hai, Miley. Guess what? I kind of secretly love you. Because – bonus confession! – this is not the only Miley Cyrus song in my iTunes library. [Listen]
12. Picture to Burn – Taylor Swift: Aside from the fact that she’s starting to look like a tranny (less eye makeup, Taylor!) I think Taylor Swift is kind of okay. This song is angry in a cute way and fun for fast tempo stuff. [Listen]
13. Thong Song – Sisqo: This one is thanks to Mr. Shue and his dance moves. I mean…I liked the song when it came out back in the day, but it has a whole new meaning for me now. 🙂 [Listen]
14. Stronger – Britney Spears: Oh, Brit-Brit. Remember when you were fierce? I miss Fierce Britney. [Listen]
15. Since U Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson: I don’t think that Kelly Clarkson is all that special. Like…she’s just another one of those chick singers that came out of that circa-2004 timeframe. But this song’s driving beat makes is a favorite for running! [Listen]
Whew. I feel better with that off my chest.
Today’s EAT: Speaking of guilty pleasures…
Strawberries. Nutella. Vanilla Ice Cream. Dinner. It happens sometimes.
Today’s DRINK: I’ve had a few people ask me whether I “give up drinking” pre-marathon.
But I do try to be reasonable.
If I’m having ice cream for dinner, I don’t need to wash it down with wine. Water will do tonight.
Today’s RUN: It poured allllll day today. I was not looking forward to Monday night running club. And so I decided to whine about it all over the internet.
As with all important life decisions, I consulted Twitter. And of course, the consensus was unanimous: I should nut up and go run in the rain.
And so I did. And it was nice. 5 miles at an unknown pace – they felt like eight-minute miles or so, but who knows. Not having a functioning watch is kind of annoying.
Today’s QUESTION: I am dying to know…if I got into your iPod/computer/CD collection, what’s the most embarrassing song I’d find? I spilled mine. Now you spill yours. Lurky-loos, too. 🙂