One: Start preparing for your tempo run the night before. Eat a large amount of bacon for dinner and wash it down with stale white wine. Watch your bedtime come and go – give it a little wave as it passes by! – even though you know you have an early wake-up the next morning.
Two: Consume multiple cups of strong coffee the morning of your tempo run. Consider those multiple trips to the bathroom a warm-up.
Three: Eat a massive lunch. I mean…massive. Because food comas and tempo runs go together like peas and carrots. (Which are two things that definitely should not be included in your lunch.)
Four: Manage your day’s schedule such that you’ll need to do your tempo run about an hour after said lunch.
Five: Choose a route with as many sharp turns and baffling intersections as possible.
Six: Go out and run an easy mile to warm up. Bemoan the state of your belly and wonder if you will end up spewing your partially-digested lunch all over the sidewalk. Pound out a 7:35 mile and then a 7:40. Get stopped by one of those ridiculous intersections about thirty seconds in to the third tempo mile, lose all motivation for physical activity, and jog back home instead. Finish 4 miles in 33 minutes and call it a day.
This was my run last Thursday, shortly after landing in Miami. It was a disaster. Although I guess you could say it set the tone for the rest of the weekend: much revelry, not so much running, and a tragic dance floor injury. But more on that in a bit.
Hope everyone had a great weekend!