Dear Baby-Jesus Santa-in-the-Sky with Diamonds,
I am having a cranky Monday. Finding any or all of these things under my tree would make me feel a little better. Pretty please?
1) A personal horn.
Hey, right-turning driver! TA-DAAAA! HERE I AM! I am a runner who would like to cross the street! Hey! Heeeeeeey. Okay, I’m going to cross now since you’re not mov – HOLY CRAP! STOP! Multiple expletives!
See why having a personal horn would just be easier? For both of us?
2) A ban on Christmas music in commercials.
Apparently, “special holiday events!” on everything from underwear to boat insurance necessitate bad renditions of holiday songs. No. Just stop. Stop. STOP. There is enough crappy Christmas music on the radio. I don’t need to hear it on TV, too.
And when did the SUV Tied With a Giant Bow become the universal symbol of Christmas? Has anyone ever known anyone who actually tied a giant bow to a vehicle?
26 more days of this. 26. 26.
3) A jobby job.
Repeat after me: I love that I’m pursuing my dream and it will pay off in the long run. I love that I’m pursuing my dream and it will pay off in the long run. I love – oh holy hell, you know what I would love right now? A freaking paycheck. And some interaction with actual human beings once in a while.
The grass. It is always greener.
4) 356,321 rakes.
That’s one for every resident of Raleigh. I will personally distribute them, so that everyone has their very own personal rake. Maybe such an abundance of rakes will inspire people to use them on their sidewalks. Because those pretty crunchy leaves? They are no fun when they’re piled a foot high on a crooked sidewalk.
Please clear off your sidewalks, people. At least a little bit. I know, it is a pain. When I lived in Ohio I would spend hours scraping leaves and snow off of our front walk so that pedestrians could pass safely. But it’s worth it. Because then you won’t ever have to deal with me. Pounding on your door to use your phone to call a taxi because I’ve sprained my ankle on your leaf-covered sidewalk.
5) My very own elf.
Exactly. All of the above, please.
I have not always been the nicest girl, Baby-Jesus Santa in the Sky, but I don’t think I’m on the naughty list. So please, make a girl’s dreams come true.
Yours in the holiday spirits,
(And by that, I mean vodka,)
Today’s EAT: Tonight’s dinner is on the hush – thanks to Rachel’s latest Project Tasteless challenge, I have to roll dinner in to breakfast. But it was excellent, and will be blogged tomorrow!
Instead I’ll leave you with my delicious pre-dinner snack:
Sliced Gruyere with fig jam. I am completely addicted to this lately.
Today’s DRINK: Oh hey, look – a semi-decent red wine!
On the heels of Thanksgiving-aganza, the wine rack is definitely stocked with a slightly better selection than normal. I picked up this P.K.N.T 2009 Carmenere from a local wine shop on the staffer’s recommendation, and I wasn’t disappointed when I opened it tonight! It’s a solid, medium-bodied red that packs a nice little bit of spice – not sharpness, but actual spiciness. I approve.
Today’s RUN: While dodging clueless turning motorists and narrowly avoiding leafy ankle traps, I managed to have an okay run today. 4.25 miles at ~8:30 pace. With lots of calf massaging afterward.
Today’s QUESTION: What’s on your holiday wish list? Have you been naughty or nice this year?