A regional guide to complaining about the weather

Oh, the weather.  Horrible nasty awful weather.  Devil-hearted, run-ruining weather.  Rain, snow, ice.  Sleet, hail, darkness.  It’s always something, isn’t it?

Right now, Winter Complaining seems to be all the rage.

Winter Complaining has been reported from Maine to Miami, from Vancouver to Virginia.  Apparently one thing that most people in North America have in common right now is that we are all really, really cold.

But you know what?  Not me. Although I am a master complainer about the weather, for once I am telling that little voice to shut it.  I spent my weekend relishing the blue skies, clear ground, and temps in the 40s.

Can we Southerners here show a little grace and perspective here?  Yes, it sucks that we have to wear long sleeves because it’s 35*.  Yes, it sucks that there was a snow flurry.  But for the most part, our muddy ground is still bare and our trees remain green.  This is our season.  Summer is the time to whine loudly.  This little bit of chilly is not so bad!

In fact, everyone could use a little perspective when it comes to bitching about the weather.  I’m going to suggest this helpful and informative Regional Guide to Complaining About the Weather:

This way, we can continue the chorus of whining year-round, but the complaining will be targeted and relevant.

Northerners/Midwesterners get dibs on the winter.  Because nothing says “f*ck you from above” like another blast of lake effect snow or icy snowbanks that linger until June.  In the summer, Northerners may not complain until the temperature reaches 87.5*.   In the lovely autumn, no complaining shall be permitted, except the occasional bemoaning of the winter that’s to come.

Southerners get the summer.  When you cannot walk for three minutes outside without looking like you wet yourself in all the wrong places, you get to complain.  Southerners shall refrain from complaining in the winter, although complaining about the inability of people to drive in inclement weather is an exception.  And if you live in Florida, do everyone a favor: just go ahead and eradicate the word “cold” from your vocabulary.

Those from the lovely, arid Southwest may be occasionally tempted to complain about the heat, but unfortunately this cannot be permitted, as the South has already claimed it.  (Besides, no one from the east coast will ever understand why 92* is a perfectly lovely temperature for a round of golf because “it’s a dry heat.”)  Instead, it is  recommended that Southwesterners complain about drought, mortgage defaults and retirees.

In the Rockies, clearly, cold weather abounds.  However, weather complainers from this region tend go silent during the winter months.  Probably because they are too busy celebrating the new powder to care what the thermometer says.  Problem solved.

All Northwesterners shall receive a year-long pass to complain about the rain.  Sadly, these passes will probably be underutilized, as many residents seem to be oblivious to the constant drizzle, safely tucked inside the hoods of their North Face parkas.  Northwesterners also have first rights to bemoan the Constant Gray Skies while halfheartedly threatening to move to California.

Californians do not have any weather-complaining rights.  Instead, they may complain about earthquakes, wildfires and the Kardashians.  However, most of the country will probably tune out, having dismissed the Golden State as a land of nutjobs after the 2008 election.

Sound good?

Good!

I suggest we start next week, as a round of snow is about to hit North Carolina, and lord knows we can’t get through a couple of inches of snow without totally freaking out.   (Actually, the skies are still clear and people are already freaking out.  Ridiculous.)

Today’s EAT: Simple pasta tossed with shrimp and olive oil is one of my favorite quick weeknight dishes.

Also works for: a nice Saturday night dinner at home.  Recipe (if you can even call it that, because this is really quite simple): Basil Shrimp Pasta

Today’s DRINK: The hubs and I had red wine with our seafood.  Rebels!

And that was about as close as we got to life on the edge this weekend.

This 2009 Chateau Haut Blaignan Medoc was nothing special, but decent enough for an inexpensive red.  Fairly light-bodied and a little bitter, but not in an offensive way.

Today’s RUN: Rounded out the week with a quick tempo on Sunday afternoon:

M – 7.1 (55:57, 7:54 pace)
Tu – 7.3 track (with 3 X mile repeats, overall 57:31, 7:52 pace)
W – OFF
Th – 5 (43:46, 8:45 pace) + 20 min core work
F – 12.1 (1:44:13, 8:36 pace)
Sa – 6.3 (1:01:01, 9:40 pace)
Su – 4 medium-tempo (30:10, 7:32 pace) + 20 min core work

41.8 for the week.  Shooting for more of the same this week!  That is, if the OMG SNOWMAGGEDON STORM doesn’t get in my way!

Today’s QUESTION: What’s the weather like where you are?  Complaints welcome here!

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57 responses to “A regional guide to complaining about the weather

  1. I will not complain about the winter so I can complain about the summer. I will not complain about the winter so I can complain about the summer. I will not…I will not…

    It’s snowing. Again. Remember the shitload of snow we got in the Tri-State area last year? It’s like, “HEY GUYZ THAT WAS FUN IM BACK YAY!” And I’m like, “Hey, you’re like the pimple i thought was fading but you’re back and bigger than ever!” And it’s like, “Pick up your snow shovel, bitch!” And I’m like, “Maybe I’ll move to the South next year.”

  2. No complaints here, except for people clearing the grocery store shelves. I love, love, love the cold and running this time of year. I’ll always be a northerner at heart 🙂 It’s sticky and gross for about 9 months out if the year in Atlanta.

    Great workouts this week Shelby. Glad the crankle’s been treating you right.

  3. SNOWMAGGEDON!!! Haha, love it. I have been sorely abusing my Northerner complaining pass already this winter since my town hates sidewalks and wants everyone on them to slip and die. Your illustrations make me quite literally LOL. 🙂

  4. I think it’s funny when people complain about the cold weather in NC. It is winter after all and personally I don’t mind it. I even called in to work today because I have no clue how to drive in the snow now that I don’t have an SUV.

    The summers though?Completely miserable, I hate hot weather and have lived in FL, AZ and NC. I need to move north.

  5. Lol – totally loved this! I’m in the North East so I get to complain about winter. But you know what – I’m only going to bitch a little because it’s great that with the right clothing, we warm up in 10 minutes or so. My brother runs in Jamaica and as he pointed out – you can get warm running in the cold – but in the heat – there’s nothing doing. You could run naked and still get heat stroke!

  6. I’m in Boston and it “feels like” 12* today. Woo hoo! Before this I was living in Colorado and if you’re not in mountains, it’s really not snowy.. maybe a few times a winter, but then the sun comes out and melts it. Seriously, 300+ days of sun and pretty mild temps for a winter! Denver weather is bad ass for running.

  7. Sucky. Negatives and windy. Looking at 3-6 inches tomorrow. And summer sucks here too. Really, we get only a few weeks of decent weather until it becomes unbearably hot. I usually use that time to complain about how it’ll never last.

  8. I <B You.

    It's sunny in Crapchester for the next 5 minutes. I'm sure there is a Lake Effect Snow band ready to pounce. Hell, Saturday I laughed when I saw weird reverse bands hitting Toronto while we had sun.

    Then I spent 4 hours reading news articles about the shootings. By the time I got my ass off the couch to run…we were getting hammered. In the hour that I ran, I found myself running about 10 minute pace because the snow was past my ankles and the wind straight in my face. I had a snow beard by the end of it. It was…sucky.

    Hence the name CRAPCHESTER. At least it ain't Syracuse.

    I have nothing more to add. Other than that I love you.

    • Angryrunner, I’m from crapchester as well. Without even reading your whole post, as soon as I saw the word “crapchester” I knew there was no other city ending in “-chester” that you could be talking about. Good luck up there!

  9. lifeisbeachykeen

    Pretty funny. I’m super happy not to be involved in all the snow days going on around the country right now.
    I will not complain about our weather today, if the wind wasn’t blowing 20mph it might be a nice day for a run.
    After last summer I said I would not {publicly} complain about the cold. I was actually relieved to see the hot weather leave for a while. I will just whine in my head, or to my husband, or to friends who also agree that 60 is cold, ha ha =)

  10. I really like how you organized a complaint map. For real. If there were a blogging code of conduct, I would like to see this added in the appendix…

    More snow for us late tonight through tomorrow. Weeeeee!

  11. Haha, love the map and complaint key. Yeah the grocery store was a mad house yesterday because it’s supposed to snow tuesday night. You would think DC/VA hadn’t gone through 3 blizzards last year.

  12. wahahaha. i love your map of complaining. i live in “sucks in the winter” but i actually love winter for running. hate it for cycling. summer is the reverse. 🙂

  13. This wins POST OF THE YEAR. For this sentence alone: “And if you live in Florida, do everyone a favor: just go ahead and eradicate the word “cold” from your vocabulary.”

    So great. My snowy run on Saturday was the best run in months. Idk why people find the need to bitch and complain so much! Especially about a few flurries. Ass clowns.

  14. Haha! This is great, espeically because you’ve lived in most areas of the country and are qualified to write it!
    For those that read my blog you know I tend to open every post with a little blurb about the weather (Minnesotan that I am :-)) I try not to complain too much, but just take a factual look at what’s happening. Yesterday it was -10 and sunny, today it’s warmed up to about 15, but it’s snowing again.

  15. I’ll complain when our temps continue to fluctuate. Stay cool, stay warm or stay hot, but I hate when one day it’s 72 and the next it’s in the 50’s. blah.

    Summers in Houston are the worst (humidity and temps in the high 90’s and triple digits are no fun), but I generally don’t complain because I’m from here and I love the heat!

    People who aren’t from California and live there can complain about bad drivers (those that can not for whatever reason drive in the rain!). And they can also complain (only for a bit though) how much they miss the rain, especially if they are from a place that rains all of the time! Because yes sometimes you miss the rain.

    • Haha, I remember those people from when I lived in L.A. “I don’t think I can make it today, it’s raining and I don’t want to drive.” Um…really?

  16. Really, my favorite time to run is in the fall, hands down. Love looking at the colorful leaves and still able to run in shorts, yet without sweat crusted to my forehead. I dislike snow, but let me tell ya, after Saturday’s run in it, my thighs and ass got in a great workout. So I guess snow-running, on the bright side, can be a form of cross-training. Who knew?!

  17. LOVE it. I’m a Seattlelite who now lives in Portland. I doubly complain about the weather!

  18. hahaha. Your map is great – it’s so informative and I love me a visual aid. I don’t mind winter and cold so bad, but these snowstorms are getting annoying as far as running outside goes. I hope it’s ok that I regularly complain about the Kardashians even though I don’t live in CA.

  19. LOL-worthy map with great labels!! (but OMG where’s Alaska?!)

    All in all, I love winter running. The only big buzzkill about it is if the roads are too icy to get a productive run in. Cold, persistent wind isn’t too fun either. But I’ll still take a regular winter over a really nasty humid summer.

  20. Burr… I live in Florida and it’s chilly. 😉

    Take that.

  21. No. Really. 360 days a year it is sunny. Today is cloudy with a chance of rain. Just rain already won’t you. Sun, come back.

    Wednesday though… that is when shit hits the fan. And it becomes….. c – o – l – d.

  22. Haha! I do love this. But I think it’s funny how California always get lumped into one one weather region. We are a HUGE state with so many different kinds of weather! It’s a frigid 45 degrees in San Francisco today 😉 BRRR!

  23. January is freaking paradise here. We get “winter” in little 3 day spurts in which the high is “only” 50* or so. Oh man it’s great, but only for running. I like 80* the rest of the time.

  24. Awesome! Very funny and all true. I (rightly) hate my Northeast winters with a passion, and I can’t stand when people in Florida complain of the cold!

  25. Although I can’t comment on other areas of the country, that map seems pretty spot on.

    Currently: snowing (SHOCKER) and actually mild in the low 20’s today.

    Tomorrow is supposed to be 25 which will be a shock to my system after running in 12 degrees yesterday. My only complaint about the weather lately is that the coldest days (like single digits or less) have been falling on Saturdays and Sundays. Boo.

  26. I love your little map. It’s 78 here now and I’m loving it. It was 71 at 6:30 when I headed out this morning. Windy, but the water is beautiful.

    There is a reason I suffer through the summers here: because I can’t take the cold. At. All.

  27. i always feel bad when i’m complaining about the weather. but then i realize i’m a complainer in general. and feel less bad 😉 i promise that when i move to a warmer locale that i won’t complain about the summer because i hate the winter so much here. i’m hoping that i don’t turn into a winter pansy though

  28. shiz, I complain about the winter and the summer. really this is just the worst place to live for a runner save for the 3 weeks of spring and 3 weeks of fall we’re allotted which make me soooooo stinking happy!

  29. Fellow North Carolinian here – we have four inches of snow & counting – it’s now mixing with sleet!

    Should make for a fun commute tomorrow morning. I’ll take our winters over anywhere north of here!

  30. hehe, i love this post. let’s all obtain lucrative jobs and move to southern california. huzzah!

  31. best. post. ever!! especially the map.

    the hospital was in full on freak out mode today. and not a flake in the sky! do they all know something i don’t?

  32. But Californians complain about the smog? I swear it has gotten worse since our college days!

    • Ooh, good one – yes, I think that Californians can definitely complain about smog. I remember those days in the 909 when you couldn’t see the mountains.

  33. This is just too funny! As a Seattleite, I thank you for the free pass to bitch about the rain and gray skies. Did you know that almost the entire population of Seattle has a Vitamin D deficiency? Yep, it’s true.

  34. Oooh you forgot Hawaii too. :-). They don’t get to complain, they live in Hawaii!!!!

  35. Love the analogy of the regional complaining! I’m all whiney about the cold weather…and according to you I am allowed being the midwesterner that I am! 🙂

  36. As a transplant to LA from VA and NY, I agree that we can hardly complain about anything. I feel free to complain the apparently the entire city is made of freaking sugar because it just shuts down when it rains. As in major appointments are cancelled. Of course, I still have to go into work, but everyone else gets a pass.

    I would like a free pass to complain about Ugg boots and jeggings though, since I have yet to run into a Kardashian. Kthanxbye.

  37. I’d like to complain about the LACK of snow in the midwest. Seriously? How can we look forward to March if everything is just dull and grey already?

  38. I love this post – it’s hilarious! I’m from the midwest but have been living in southwestern Ontario for a year and a half. What I wouldn’t give for a 30 degree day – let alone 45! – to run in.
    To be fair, though, I’d much rather have this kind of winter to run in than have a really hot summer. People here complain when it’s 80 in the afternoon and barely humid. At least the snow running in the winter is sort of like trail running. That’s good for you anyways, right?

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  41. I just found your blog and all I have to say is THIS IS AWESOME. This was the funniest post I’ve read about the weather. Love it!

  42. HAHA this is genius, Upstate New York is a living abominable snowman, slash we never get snow days because our superintendent is from Alaska.

    Aka, I take FULL complainage status!

  43. This. is. amazing. Thank you! I live in Philly, which is technically “sucks in the winter” but borders on “sucks in the summer”, too. Cause we get the best of both worlds; 4 blizzards in the month of February, 100 degrees and 80 percent humidity in July. At least we have Spring and Fall…for like, a week each.

    That being said I’m LOVING running right now. When it hits 40 degrees I feel like I should be in shorts ha. I’d so much rather be out there in this than ungodly heat and unrelenting sunshine.

    First trip here to your site, I’ll def be back!

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