Timely tofu failure

On three separate occasions over the last couple of weeks, I’ve extolled the virtues of tofu to skeptical friends, claiming that: “It’s really good, you just have to cook it right.  Which isn’t that hard, really!”

Which explains why my dinner last night looked like this:

What the hell, tofu?  The moment I finish singing your praises, you decide to go all lumpy-dog-food on me?

My neat little tofu cubes broke down faster than an old Yugo when they hit the marinade.  I pressed it as usual (paper towel wrap with a book on top) and the marinade was nothing strange (soy sauce, ginger and sriracha and a splash each of sesame and canola oils).

I don’t get it.

At least it tasted pretty good.  Smothered with chili garlic sauce.

So if you happen to be one of the people I’ve recently tried to sell on this stuff?  I recant.  It’s not super easy to prepare.  That little block of fermented soy is a fickle bastard indeed.

In unrelated news, to the four people who found my blog this morning by searching “Hot and Mean”: thank you, I am flattered.  One step closer to my dream of being a smarter version of Regina George.


22 responses to “Timely tofu failure

  1. I love your humor. 🙂

    I just had my first experience with tofu and I was glad that it went very well!

  2. I’ve pulled this off a couple of times by the grace of vodka, but more often than not, I screw it up. The last time, the pyrex dish I was using to press the tofu fell and shattered on the kitchen floor.

  3. ahahhaha…I like that this happened a week after I said I’d never touch this stuff again.

    Also, best search term ever.

  4. Mmm, chili garlic sauce can save almost anything. Tofu is tricky – I still haven’t mastered it!

  5. The first time I ever cooked tofu I burnt the crap out of it and the bbq sauce I was marinading it in. Fail. Hahah Regina George. classic.

  6. I always have to slice my tofu and bake it in the oven before using it. Stir-frying it just ends up going badly.

  7. The only vaguely attractive tofu recipe I’ve ever made is a tofu salad from the Moosewood Cookbook. Otherwise it generally turns out looking like your photo above 🙂 But with enough chili/garlic/soy sauce/etc., it usually tastes pretty good, and that’s the main thing.

  8. tofu is always mean. 2 out of 3 times it falls apart like that for me. stupid tofu.

  9. Oh no! Sorry it didn’t turn out well this time. Hmm maybe we won’t be trying this at home. 🙂

  10. Yeah, your tofu has scabies. Whatever, it’s all gonna look like shit in the end!

  11. I tend to get the pre-marinated bricks of baked tofu for that reason…

  12. I heart Mean Girls.

    Not gonna lie, I don’t know whats up with your tofu. Mine has never broken apart like that and now I’m intrigued as to what happened.

  13. Also intrigued, as I have never seen tofu behave in such a manner! And now I will giggle when preparing it because I will think of it as a fickle bastard.

    Ha, Regina George. Can I be your Catie? ‘Cept I suck at math. Shit.

  14. Tofu still scares me to cook.

  15. Shelby. It has been a loooooong time since our days of sharing a bathroom in Abbleby (and OMG it took a while to come up with that name), so I am pleased and a little shocked that you are diggin’ tofu these days. Wish I was there to try it.

  16. And btw, I am precofffee at this moment and just googled “hot and mean”, not quite understanding the reference you made in your post. I was verrrrryyyyy confused, thinking maybe I was going to find you on that site. Next time I will read your posts more carefully. After coffee.

  17. yeah tofu…I don’t get my hopes up in the looks department. It always winds up scrambled but always tastes good in the end. So do artichokes and let’s be honest, those look like they’re just poisonous.

  18. Pingback: Hard in da paint | eat, drink, run

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