Hey, are y’all sick of that alphabet meme yet?
Oh, you are? Well too bad. It’s Friday afternoon. I’ve done zero cooking this week. And I’ve run like six miles. (Okay, a few more than that, but not by much.) And I’ll take any excuse to draw pictures.
So here are twenty-six utterly pointless facts about me.
Age: 305. Er, 30.5. Kind of feels like the former sometimes though.
Bed size: Queen.
Chore you hate: I hate most chores. But especially laundry.
Dogs: I like dogs but I’ve never owned one. I’m more of a cat person. Cats are much easier to deal with. Dogs are needy little bitches.
Essential start to your day: Snooze button.
Favorite color: PAAAAAANK! Just kidding. Blue or green I guess.
Gold or silver: I like gold cuz it matches my grill.
Uh…actually I don’t care. Both are fine.
Height: 5’3″. I’m a peanut.
Instruments you play: I PLAY INSTRUMENTS OF DESTRUCTION! It’s a big step up from Second Chair Clarinet in middle school band.
Job title: Uh…um…I write things sometimes. Other times, I sell things. Mostly I sit around and plot ways to become a zillionaire without having to get back on the corporate ladder. (I haven’t figured it out yet, but if you do and want to go halvsies, let me know.)
Kids: Scare me. See: previous statement about dogs being too needy and high-maintenance for my extremely self-centered lifestyle.
Live: Or…die? Sure, I’ll take a few more years.
Mom’s name: She can tell you that if she wants. She comments here sometimes. Hi, mom!
Nicknames: “Shelb.” “SVP.” “Hey you.”
Overnight hospital stays: None that I can recall.
Pet peeve: People telling me that I “need” to do something. As in: “Oh, you hate pickles? Well you need to try this recipe for extra-chunky relish with tangy formaldehyde! You’ll love it!”
Quote from a movie: “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!” I feel this way often.
Righty or lefty: Righty.
Siblings: I grew up an only child. I now have step-siblings as a result of parental re-marrying in the last few years. They make great drinking buddies when I go home for the holidays. Win – win.
Time you wake up: Usually around 8 or 8:30 AM. I hate mornings.
Underwear: What about them? Seriously…they’re clean today, and that’s all you need to know.
Vegetables you dislike: Honestly, I dislike most vegetables. I love salad greens and raw carrots, and green beans if they’re roasted in butter, but pretty much everything else I eat because it’s good for me, not because I enjoy it.
What makes you run late: Teh interwebz.
X-Rays: Aside from teeth and the new TSA porn scanners, none that I can recall.
Yummy food that you make: All food I make is yummy. ALL!
Zoo animal favorite: I’m kind of obsessed with otters. Once upon a time, I had a stuffed otter to match the stuffed walrus that I sleep with every night. Apparently I have a thing for jovial aqua-mammals.
And with that I am off to run a little run, drink a little beer, and get my hair cut. My ends are splitting faster than a Real Housewife of Whereverville from her rich husband.