Hey, are y’all sick of that alphabet meme yet?

Oh, you are?  Well too bad.  It’s Friday afternoon.  I’ve done zero cooking this week.  And I’ve run like six miles.  (Okay, a few more than that, but not by much.)  And I’ll take any excuse to draw pictures.

So here are twenty-six utterly pointless facts about me.

Age: 305.  Er, 30.5.  Kind of feels like the former sometimes though.

Bed size: Queen.

Chore you hate:  I hate most chores.  But especially laundry.

Dogs: I like dogs but I’ve never owned one.  I’m more of a cat person.  Cats are much easier to deal with.  Dogs are needy little bitches.

Essential start to your day: Snooze button.

Favorite color: PAAAAAANK!  Just kidding.  Blue or green I guess.

Gold or silver: I like gold cuz it matches my grill.

Uh…actually I don’t care.  Both are fine.

Height: 5’3″.  I’m a peanut.

Instruments you play: I PLAY INSTRUMENTS OF DESTRUCTION!  It’s a big step up from Second Chair Clarinet in middle school band.

Job title: Uh…um…I write things sometimes.  Other times, I sell things.  Mostly I sit around and plot ways to become a zillionaire without having to get back on the corporate ladder.  (I haven’t figured it out yet, but if you do and want to go halvsies, let me know.)

Kids: Scare me.  See: previous statement about dogs being too needy and high-maintenance for my extremely self-centered lifestyle.

Live: Or…die?  Sure, I’ll take a few more years.

Mom’s name: She can tell you that if she wants.  She comments here sometimes.  Hi, mom!

Nicknames: “Shelb.”  “SVP.”  “Hey you.”

Overnight hospital stays: None that I can recall.

Pet peeve: People telling me that I “need” to do something.  As in: “Oh, you hate pickles?  Well you need to try this recipe for extra-chunky relish with tangy formaldehyde! You’ll love it!”

Quote from a movie: “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!”  I feel this way often.

Righty or lefty: Righty.

Siblings: I grew up an only child.  I now have step-siblings as a result of parental re-marrying in the last few years.  They make great drinking buddies when I go home for the holidays.  Win – win.

Time you wake up: Usually around 8 or 8:30 AM.  I hate mornings.

Underwear: What about them?  Seriously…they’re clean today, and that’s all you need to know.

Vegetables you dislike: Honestly, I dislike most vegetables.  I love salad greens and raw carrots, and green beans if they’re roasted in butter, but pretty much everything else I eat because it’s good for me, not because I enjoy it.

What makes you run late: Teh interwebz.

X-Rays: Aside from teeth and the new TSA porn scanners, none that I can recall.

Yummy food that you make: All food I make is yummy.  ALL!

Zoo animal favorite: I’m kind of obsessed with otters.  Once upon a time, I had a stuffed otter to match the stuffed walrus that I sleep with every night.  Apparently I have a thing for jovial aqua-mammals.

And with that I am off to run a little run, drink a little beer, and get my hair cut.  My ends are splitting faster than a Real Housewife of Whereverville from her rich husband.

Happy weekend!


12 responses to “Alphabeticals

  1. you’re hysterical and so entertaining!

  2. Fun stuff, and your drawings get more fabulous all the time!

  3. Love the crazy pills visual. I wonder if I remembered to take mine today? 😉

    *Jealous* you get to sleep until 8:30. That would be perfect for me! I’m a blood-sucking-shrieking-banshee because I wake up at 6:00am for work. UGH.

  4. You make me smile and laugh. 🙂
    Oooh I had my hair trimmed today too. Those split ends were bad & I can’t help but split them. Ugh. bad habit.

  5. “Dogs are needy little bitches” – AGREE. Never get a dog. I should have listened to my mom…

  6. I can’t stop staring at the grill picture…

  7. Man, I was seriously going to suggest this: “Well you need to try this recipe for extra-chunky relish with tangy formaldehyde! You’ll love it!” Guess I’ll have to go back to my drawer of pickle recipes to try to find another one for you. I’m sure I have something in there for a pickle cake…

  8. What am I, chopped liver?

  9. I LOVE the crazy pills picture. I may have to print it out and tape it to my monitor at work.

  10. I am not tired of the ABCs, especially when you illustrate them for me. I love everyone’s responses for Underwear.

  11. that is an entertaining alphabet.

    Kids scare me too. What to do about that?

  12. LOL to the Kids answer! ❤ ❤

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