Powder poodle

You know those little wussy dogs that bark and growl and carry on like they’re big tough dogs?  That’s me on the ski slopes.

In other words, in spite of the fact that I’m an entirely mediocre skier, I seem to be unable to resist the temptation of slopes that are beyond my current abilities.  Illustrative anecdote: one time, when I was in high school, I ended up dangling from the branches of a tree on some double-black death-bowl.  My (far more talented) ski buddies had to ride the lift back up and traverse over to get me down.  No one, including me, could quite figure out how it happened.

But that doesn’t stop me from spotting a steep mogul-pocked slope from the chair and saying: “Hey, that looks like fun!”  Yap, yap, yap.  A poodle who thinks she’s a pit bull.

Do dogs have nine lives, too?  I hope so.

Knock on wood, I’ve never been physically unable to get down one of these runs.  But it’s usually pretty ugly.

I’m fortunate to have patient companions.

And I usually forget about the terror and humiliation just long enough to stop me from doing something stupid again.  Today.

Whatever.  Groomers are for pussies, anyway.

Hope you’re having a wonderful Monday!  See you all later on with some regularly scheduled running and wine chatter.  But right now, I have an important appointment with the hot tub.

It’s a rough life out here.

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15 responses to “Powder poodle

  1. omg. we. must. go. skiing. together. for real.

    enjoy the hot tub! you totally earned it. skiing is HARD

  2. I’ve never tried to ski. I feel like it would only end in disaster. I’d say let’s drink in front of the fireplace…

  3. hahahaha. i was like that about skiing when i was 8. my dad was not happy.

  4. Too funny! In high school I used to ski straight down black diamonds…arms wide zooming down the slope praying that I wouldn’t run into anyone at the bottom. Fun & stupid. 🙂

  5. hahaha. the illustrations really make this post.

    I’ll join the dumbass club. I’m a sub-mediocre skier, and have tackled a few black diamonds in my day. I’m also a fraidy cat, so I wimper the whole way down

  6. Hilarious! Love the illustration!
    I’m a wannabe good snowboarder – I can handle must stuff (including the double black diamonds on the upper bowls of breck…okay, I survived not “handled” them!) but I still get all pussyfooted and wimp out. I visualize death rather than a perfect run and then I just get all scared!

  7. you are my favorite type of beginner/ intermediate skier – you’re fearlessness makes my day better if i have to ski with you or suffer the guilt-ridden consequences of not skiing with you. although your chances of breakin’ yoself are pretty high. be careful? and enjoy the hot tub! i love ski getaways. was just skiing this weekend myself, sans hot tub. naps replaced hot tub happy hour, and i’m perfectly content with that 🙂

  8. Have fun, and stay in one piece on the slopes 😀 Awesome artwork too.

  9. Love. It. I’m headed to Tahoe in a few days for the snowboard version of this story.

    Be careful out there!

    • I am usually pretty careful! I’m afraid to go too fast so I usually end up just picking my way down the hard parts. 🙂 So stupid!

      Have fun in Tahoe!

  10. Last time I skied I went off a jump and landed in moguls…. and got a concussion. Oopsie!

  11. Awesome. I wish I could ski, but I could never figure out how to go any way but straight down so I get going (what feels like) asteroid speed even on the bunny hill. I’m a serious danger to other skiers.

  12. I’ve never tried to ski, either. I think I’d just utilize that hot tub.

  13. Hansel says he would totally handle that double black. Just sayin’. And he could take a pitbull any day.

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