Well, folks, the weekend is upon us and tsunamis are coming and people are dying. Major bummer.
I skipped posting last night because I was too busy digesting a massive BBQ bacon cheeseburger, fries, and half a pitcher of beer. (Like a python!) I thought about writing about how delicious it was, but then it occurred to me that I’d only need one word: DUH. So that would’ve been a short post.
Which brings us to today, in which I’ll once again skirt around talking about something substantive or important. Earlier this week, Heidi tagged me with this Stylish Blogger meme that’s been going around. Thanks, Heidi! I’m supposed to share seven things about myself. I know you can’t wait.
1. Don’t pull my finger. Like, seriously, don’t. I have an irrational dislike for this. Toes, too. I can’t really explain it, but it’s like I’m afraid the joints are going to disconnect and I’ll be left with a floppy digit. Massages make me slightly anxious, even after telling the therapist “NO TOE PULLING!”
2. Cartwheels are for…carts. I can’t do one. Never could, probably never will. If you want to see me fall on my ass repeatedly, challenge me to a cartwheel contest – preferably after I’ve had a couple of beers.
3. I was too cool for school. High school, and I mean it literally. My junior year, I was accepted in to a program that allowed high school students to take most of their classes at the local community college. The program was designed for kids who wanted to simultaneously get their associates degree while finishing high school, then transfer to a state university and finish the remaining two years there, thus shaving off two years of tuition.
But I had absolutely no intention of doing that. I just saw it as a way to escape the vapidity of eleventh and twelfth grade, while simultaneously strong-arming my parents in to buying me the car I’d need for all of this to work. And also, clearing my schedule of things like mandatory class attendance so I’d have more time for watching The Price is Right.
(Not that I ever did that, mom and dad. Er…most of the time.)
4. But my school was pretty cool. Definitely cooler than yours. Because: did you go to high school in a castle? I didn’t think so.
You may recognize my alma mater from Ten Things I Hate About You. (And if not, it’s probably on TBS right now if you want to go watch.)
(And for what it’s worth, the stairs were a total bitch. Castles don’t have elevators.)
5. This lush won’t drink dirty. Sorry, but olives are vile. Every time the hubs orders an extra-dirty martini and I happen to smell it, I gag a little. I really wish I liked martinis because I think they’re classy, but unfortunately if I’m getting a cocktail, I’m the dumb girl with the pink cosmo or whatever.
6. Microwaves go against everything I stand for. Okay, not really, but I was hanging out with my sister-in-law a couple of weeks ago and she made this claim.
Me: That meat looks great, but how are we going to defrost it?
SIL: Um, in the microwave? Unless that goes against everything that you stand for.
I thought it was hilarious and plan to make it a cornerstone of my personal philosophy on life.
(And actually, I do tend to avoid the microwave for some stuff. I feel like it makes my food weirdly soggy, and until recently I didn’t own one, so I sort of just don’t think to use it most of the time.)
7. I can pick my nose with my tongue. See?
Is it a scratch, or a pick? Hmmm.
With that, I’m out. I think I’m supposed to tag some people, but seeing as that it my least favorite part of memes (has this person been tagged yet? haven’t they? would they want to do this? or would they think I’m an ass for tagging them?) and I’m already running late for work, I’m going to skip it. But feel free to share some random crap about yourself in the comments! I love reading about other people’s random crap.
See you tomorrow with yet another 5K race report!
(And seriously, that earthquake thing sucks ass. Thoughts, prayers, hugs, twizzlers, etc going out to the Pacific Rim and those affected by the situation.)