Blue-haired sirens

Am I the only one who finds the process of accepting a morsel from one of the Costco Sample Ladies to be…slightly awkward?

Because they have this whole, like, schpeal.  That they sort of just play on a loop.  Without any noticeable punctuation or sentence breaks.  And while I’m sure they’re fully accustomed to people walking away as they’re speaking, I kind of feel socially obligated to stand there and smile and nod until I’m sure I’ve heard the entire thing through.

(Except for this one time, a few years ago, when I got, like, carded by the sample lady.  She told me I couldn’t have any trail mix unless my parents came over and said it was okay.  As in: she thought I was seventeen.  I was twenty-five.  That one was awkward for everyone.)

Anyway, I’m the sucker who stands there and listens to the whole sales pitch and then, half the time, ends up walking away with something I totally hadn’t planned on buying.

Which is why I now have an institutional-sized box of veggie burgers in my freezer.

I don’t even really like veggie burgers.  I mean, these ones are okay, but I had one for dinner tonight and was kind of thinking to myself that it would make a good once-in-a-while food.  And now I have fifteen more of them.  Help!

On an unrelated note, if you haven’t seen it yet, check out this super helpful blogger content flow chart over on Marie’s blog.  Absolutely hysterical.

That’s all I’ve got today.  Happy Monday, y’all!

22 responses to “Blue-haired sirens

  1. believe it or not, i’ve been to costco only once in my life so i still can’t wrap my head around fifteen dr. praeger burgers. especially since those suckers fall apart wayyy too easily. good luck!

    • They do, right? I thought maybe I was doing something wrong. That sucker smooshed around and flattened its way out of the bun every time I tried to take a bite!

  2. hahah. when i was little i would be SO EXCITED for trips to costco just for the samples. me and my sister would travel the store just to get them…and try to hit them on a circuit to get multiple ones. nowadays i don’t even look at the salespeople!

  3. I once got carded for an ice cream sample, and for whatever reason…I didn’t have my id. (It was at a little store, I think I was just grabbing gatorade or something.) I WAS DENIED.

    These blue haired bitches such.

  4. They card kids for SAMPLES? Sheesh, costco is serious…

    • Looking back, maybe they were extra careful because there were nuts involved? IDK. But in any case, a teenager would know if they had severe allergies, anyway.

  5. I sort of like “veggie burgers”, but does anyone else think it’s funny that vegetarians and vegans always like to create food that tastes like “meat”? Tofu bacon? Veggie hotdogs? If you are so opposed to “meat” (btw, we are omnivores… look it up), then why are you trying to make your food taste like “meat”? (I really don’t mean to offend anyone… I’m trying to be funny)! If anything, I give you guys props for your AMAZING use of spices!!! In fact, I have 2 vegetarian cookbooks (that I *might* add a little meat every now and then) just because the seasonings are so exquisite!

    • Totally not a vegetarian, but I don’t particularly care for the super meat-like meat substitutes either. These veggie burgers have like actual chunks of veggies in them, which is better, IMO!

  6. I’m a pretty big fan of veggie burgers, but I totally hear where you’re coming from. I have gotten roped/pressured/guilted/tricked into buying a few things that I have sampled and I nearly always regret it.
    : : MUST STICK TO LIST! : : So difficult.

  7. Please don’t laugh at me, but I’ve never been to Costco’s or any of the other “bulk” stores. I barely have space for regular sized stuff in my tiny apartment.

    Also, I LOVE veggie burgers. I’m trying to stop eating them.

    • I was on a Costco hiatus for several years when I lived in small urban apartments! No giggles here. When you don’t have a lot of space, it’s just not worth coming home with 100 rolls of toilet paper, no matter how cheap it is!

  8. I always feel awkward at Costco. I want the samples! And I get the bite or nibble and then I feel awkward and weird about just walking away and not buying the item. I’m a total leach when it comes to free food. 🙂

  9. hahah, oh no! I’ve never been to Costco, but I must say I like Whole Foods on sample day – maybe they’re a little more laid back with the sales pitching. I’ve never had those veggie burgers…

    Hmmm, would your cats like them? Just a thought…

  10. Wait: why couldn’t a 17 year old try trail mix without parental permission? Were there “adult” images on the packages? Was it laced with tobacco and booze? I am sincerely confused. I’ve been taking samples at wholesale stores since I was a kid. Never once did my parents have to give the ok…. weird.

    • I’m sure it has something to do with nut allergies and liability. I mean, I could totally see not giving a toddler a cup full of peanuts without checking with his parents first, on the risk that he’s allergic. A teenager is another story, but I’m sure there’s a legal reason behind it.

  11. True story: The first time I went grocery shopping with Ryan I made it clear I avoid sample ladies. I dodged one like a bullet and whisked into the next aisle and Ryan’s all come on…I want you to meet her. Who? The sample lady? What the? Turns out it was an impromptu visit to see his GRANDMA who works there on the weekends. I felt like an ass. I still didn’t sample her product though. 🙂

  12. I’m totally with you. You feel bad if you walk away early. The awkward hair net doesn’t help, either. I stopped at a sample table that had buffalo chicken at it once and I wanted to circle back about 18 more times, but I held myself back. I’ve had those veggie burgers- they’re way better with a little hot sauce and cheese and broiled so they get kinda crispy.

  13. Hahaha I’m the exact same way. I’m a salesmans dream! Once, I actually bought a bunch of childrens books and I don’t even have kids.

  14. Pingback: Vegetarian Lentil Burgers | Duke's House

  15. I just read this after turning down more than my fair share of samples at Pricesmart (our Costco) on Monday. I didn’t think I needed a 10-pound box of beef empanadas and I know all too well when I just can’t say no.

    Having seen your box of veggie burgers, I just had to giggle; I’m eating a lunch of mystery defrosted veggie burger (which I made sometime between last month and a year ago) and I have no idea what kind of burger it is, which is a shame, because it’s pretty good. So yeah, unless I learn to label, I should stick to the boxed stuff.

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